More Than You Will Ever Know

She's staring at you. This is your last afternoon together. Alone. You're staring back at her and remember the 9 years you shared. Best friends. You know everything there is to know about her. but now that you are about to swear yourself to a girl you met only 2 months ago, things are definitely going to change. The moment is PERFECT. You stand with her on a boat gliding along a river framed by a bridge. The bridge is slowly coming closer and closer. Until then, this moment is yours to capture forever. This one last moment to spend with the girl who has always been the woman in you life. You look at her. Registering everything about her, noticing how it all seems so wonderfully familiar. This object of beauty and perfection that you've loved for all these years and say,
"You've always been the woman in my life. Even though I'm getting married to Kimmy."
She whispers back "You've always been the man of mine."
For a second that lasted an e t e r n i t y, you stare at each other. What you don't know is that the way she's looking at you is filled with more love than you know. More than you can imagine. More than you can ever return.
You break the silence that with the most unwanted subject,
"It's funny isn't it," you start "When we were together, we never used the word love. Kimmy always says that if you love someone, you should just admit it. Say it. SCREAM it. Or else the moment just..."
You look up to see that the two of you are being embraced by the shadow of the bridge. The darkness is enough to break it.
End it. -

"...passes you by" she finishes for you.
The boat emerges on the other sunlit side. The moments gone. You know you still love Kimmy but there was so much more in those few moments between you and your best friend. Now you will never get those moments back. Again, like the stupid man you are, you break the silence with yet another unwanted topic.
"Kimmy and I don't even have a song, is that a bad sign?"
"No. but you know, the sad thing is, it feels like I'm losing the best friend i ever had" and from that moment you knew. You felt the same way. Yes you loved Kimmy, but you will always have the woman standing before you on a pedestal
"someday" you begin to sing "when I'm awfully low, when the world is cold. I will feel the glow just thinking of you and the way you look tonight"
"it's our song" she whispers and closes her eyes. You take her hand and start to dance with her. Right there. On a boat full of people. Her head on your shoulder is a pleasant weight. You see this as the official parting unspoken promise. You wrap her in your arms and smile. Glad to know that your best friend of almost 10 years is with you right now.
But what you don't know is that behind your head, the tears are beginning to fall. Because what you said, pierced her heart like an icy knife. Shattering the very w.a.r.m.t.h that keeps her alive. These words will hurt her

More than you will ever know.


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