Smile For Me

No one would ever have guessed what was going on in her mind. She played the part well. Perfectly in fact. She smiled when the camera came around, laughed at the approprite times and responded in the same light manner that was expected. The way she used to.

Her loud personality unmathced by any of her cousins or friends nnow gatehred at the dinner table. It all came so easily to her. And yet, no one seemed to realise how forced her actions were. Was it the fact that she got so used to playing the part? Or that they didn't want to notice, preferring the girl they always thought they knew. It didn't matter. Either way, she would still smile for the cameras, laugh at the jokes and act the way she was meant to. But that was when people were watching. When the cameras left, the joke was told and the moment passed, she receded back into the shadows. Her smile was still held in place but it was hollow. She had no feelings. Except this constant loneliness she couldn't even explain. All she knew was that it was there and she couldn't get rid of it no matter how much she tried. She kept up the facade well.

The night was over. Not once did any of her companions notice her fall into the shadows. Watch her, quite literally, move away from the light that fuelled her personality. No one realised that everytime she wasn't talking, she was thinking about who she was. Cause honestly, that was the question that had been bothering her for a while now. Who the hell was she and what happened to her past personality? Every single personality trait that once defined her was no longer true. She wasn't intelligent, social, kind hearted or even. . . happy. what changed?

She covered this new revelation up. Quite well. Very few, maybe even none had seen her without her mask. She wouldn't let anyone see that side of her. The insecure little girl trying to fit the perception people had of her. and for what? To be who she was meant to be of course. But whylet society dictate what she should be? Her motives didn't even matter. Whatever happened, she had to act as if nothing changed. She was still loud. For public reasons. She managed to fill every silence. Sometimes overdoing it. She never let an awkward moment pass without saying something and yet sometimes the silence was never meant to be awkward. Some called her over confident, others stubborn. But maybe, just maybe, she was a little fragile.