I irritate me sometimes...

SO INCONSISTENT! I APOLOGISE DEEPLY! DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE? Oh well. This morning/last night, I woke up at like 3am. Randomly. Took me a while to realise I was awake (lol) but it wasn't even a gradual waking. It was just BAM! Wide awake! Which is kinda freaky at 3am. TO make it even worse, I started getting really freaked out. I don't know, it was like two parts of me were openly arguing with each other. I was freaking out but at the same time I was thinking to myself "why are you scared? You didn't even have a bad dream?" To which the scared half of my sub/conscious replied "heaven and hell are fighting!" and then the normal part of me was all "You're silly! God will take care of you" I don't mean literally replied. No words were exchanged between me and.. well me in this event. It was just a very strange thought process of mine. I kept seeing really horrific images of gah I don't even know. It was just scary okay ? I blame Supernatural. I fell asleep watching it, which probably explains this occurrence that I am trying to dramatise into something worth blogging about. Although, there are no exaggerations in this. This did actually happen.
In other news, Art. Gah art. And ext 2. I thought i had so much direction (in both) and that I just had to do it and I'd be fine but nooooo! After getting feedback, I'm back to being lost with a barely tangible concept. I'm more lost in ext 2 though. Cbb going into detail about that. But art, I had a complete idea and I was happy with it, I just didn't know how to present it. Mrs Coombes helped me with it and I had direction again. A giant circle full of sketches of the nine circles of hell done in a way that makes them look pretty at first until you stare at it for longer and see there's something really creepy about it. But then Miss Cody said that she wants me to draw realistically :( There are many issues with this:

1. I've found this year that in terms of art, drawing is my forte. But my realistic drawings are still average at best. They look like what they're meant to look like but they're not like WOAAAAAAAAAH IT LOOKS LIKE A PHOTO type thing. I can draw fabric really well. Not hands. Or birds. or feathers or people.The only reason Miss Cody thinks I should draw realistically is cause she saw my charcoal drawing of the Winged Nike of Samothrace. Which is all fabric and wings. yay .
2. It isn't my style. Personally, I think my better drawings are the ones that I draw in like two minutes. Not because they look perfect but because I like the rough sketchiness. When I was talking to Mrs Coombes she was like "You draw really beautifully. It's got a unique awkwardness to it.. a kind of ugly beauty. Which is really good because it's all suggestions and almost theres rather than the perfect depiction everyone is trying to achieve." At first I was like OMGSH SHE THINKS I DRAW UGLY! But after talking to her more, I got what she was saying and started taking it as a compliment :P
3. I think sketchy will look better because it's hell. It's not meant to be perfect or realistic. I agree with the fact that TOO much sketchy will look too much like a draft as a BoW but I don't want it to be an exact replica of what I'm drawing. Especially since I'm trying to take a surreal approach to all this. I don't even know anymore :(